An Investigator in 3 parts - part 2

 When I was freshly divorced and needed a job a friend suggested coming to work with her but I declined due to low self esteem. Wow what a mistake that was but God knows the bigger picture so the next time she asked I said yes- I’ve learned not to say no twice to a good thing. I was scared and nervous but I got the job and that was the beginning of 4 years of big growth. You mean to tell me I can get paid to ask questions! Sign me up! I traveled to Colorado for training broke as a joke with milk money from my parents. Learning that job was akin to drinking water from a firehose but I did it and my self esteem grew, I got to dress up and carry a badge. I was a trusted partner in our nations national security system - an important cog in the wheel. I got to work for a month at a time in my favorite city TWICE. Did I mention I got paid for asking questions?! Simply being my big eared self I was able to take care of my family on my own. I met fascinating, crazy people and I got to go behind doors most people never do. Some days were hard and I cried more than once but I always felt like my work mattered. I had two awesome managers and a host of badass coworkers that became friends. I was important to someone other than my family and friends for the first time in probably ever.  I made connections and eventually got recruited away to my current position. So on the last day as Special Investigator Selsor I packed up all my cool investigator tools and sent them back to the mysterious East coat home office in an empty frito lay multipack box with the chips no one liked as packing material. I gave up working from home barefoot in pajamas to again dress up but this time with a less cool badge. Which brings me to part 3.....

An Invesigator in 3 parts - part 1

 Ive always had a knack for finding things out and let me tell you it’s a blessing and a curse. Coming from the generation and nationalities I’m from there are a lot of things that weren’t considered polite for open conversation. Growing up I often heard “go play and let the grown ups talk” or  “go read a book, I’m on the phone”.  So as I result I developed what my Mimi called “big ears” aka eavesdropping skills. I also learned to read body language and tones of voice. I could fill in the blanks and read between the lines with pretty fair success. Any other information I needed could be patched together by talking to my cousins or consulting with friends. Over the years I honed my skills and almost earned a double major degree in mind reading and assumption from the University of None of my Business. The problem was I happened to be right about 85% of the time even when I didn’t have all the info, which reinforced my idea that this was all supremely useful. Then it just became instinct, my gut and I were pals. I knew if you were sad, angry, scared or lying. I lost friends and relationships over my skills but I never stopped using them until one day my gut told me to leave my husband. For good, and for years after that I ignored my skills because I was raw and broken. It felt like all the things I thought I knew had been a lie. I didn’t want my PhD in other people anymore until one day a friend presented a way to earn money with my skills which leads us to part two.....