Dork magnet

Standing in an impossibly long line at Starbucks trying to kill some time before a doctors appointment it occurs to me.... I am a bonafide dork magnet. I've been single now going on almost 2 years and in that time I've gone on a handful of dates, 6 to be exact. It's not easy being a 40 year old single mom and trying to meet people. Especially if you're not inclined to dancing on tables or hanging out at bars. I tried the Internet dating thing and that got me 3 people. All dorks in one way or another. The one who knew my ex husband and still lived with his mom, the one who wanted to become the Brady bunch after the first date and Spear man. Ahh.. Spear man.... Any of my close friends who read this post will remember him. At the end of our date, after telling me that while he finds me extremely attractive he won't be having sex with me until we are married, he gave me a spear. Full on authentic South American tribal spear. Most guys just bring flowers. Dork. Which brings me to today. Back at Starbucks waiting to order my non fat vanilla latte the guy behind me strikes up a conversation based on the tattoo on my foot. "So you like Seattle huh"? "Must be a big nirvana fan". Nope. It's Chicago. Can't stand Nirvana. "Cool he says, I'm getting a vanilla latte too... How about you let me buy yours and we go have a chat on the patio"? IF I hadn't been on my way to a doctors appointment and IF he hadn't been wearing a size schmedium t-shirt and sporting a hipster pseudo beard I might've considered his proposal. He looked confused when I said thanks but no thanks. Dork. My girlfriend Kim says I need to "put myself out there more". So I'm trying... But this week has been too much. Tuesday on a late night run to Von's for milk and coffee I was followed to my car by a guy with a considerable beer belly AND a case of beer under his harm who felt the need to tell me I was beautiful. Thanks for the compliment. It might've been more flattering if he didn't look like Don Johnson's bloated, older brother. Dork. I am a dork magnet. I can't say I don't get hit on or asked out. I just get DORKS.