The Waiting Room

Ahhh the waiting room. We’ve all been there ... The chairs suck, there’s no snacks and it’s always the opposite temperature from what you want. You can smell the despair around you. Anxious energy abounds. You could be waiting forever it seems as your left butt cheeks starts to tingle just before it goes to sleep. There’s an old saltine cracker wrapper crunching under the bottom of your foot as you try to stomp your butt cheek back to life. People are starting to stare. Let Em! They have their own wait to suffer though this one is yours. Maybe you’re waiting for a phone call or a visit from a loved one, or a hated one. Maybe you’re waiting for the beginning of that hyped up fresh, new start everyone’s been talking  about. Maybe it’s the end you’re waiting for. The end to grieving, to pain, to self doubt, to the bullshit you’ve been choking on for too long. Maybe you’re just waiting to find out what the fuck it’s all about. Maybe it’s all of the above. Here’s what I’ve learned about the waiting room 1) it’s a great Fugazi song, 2) you’re not allowed to stay there forever there’s simply not enough room for everyone. 3) this too shall pass. Stick with me, I’ve been here before and I found the vending machines last time. I can’t fix it for you or for me but I promise to hold the kidney shaped, pink plastic barf bowl for you if you hold it for me. Together we will make the best of the waiting room.  Now ... do you have quarters? 

Applebee’s

 There’s a movie I love called Couples Retreat my celebrity boyfriend Vince Vaughn stars in it and if you haven’t seen it yet give it a go  if you hate it blame me. I think you might love it like I do. It explains relationships at all stages for me because ultimately it all comes down to who are you going to go to Applebee’s with. Meaning when the steam of  infatuation and lust wear off and if you’re still together then that is when it hits brass tacks. I enjoyed being married. I’m happy in a committed relationship. Im an anomaly in single town these days and that’s ok. Looking at past relationships I think the trick is to be single with the person you’re committed to. Never stop dating each other, learning about each other,  having fun. Share the heavy stuff too like an Ass - meaning donkey. Once you’ve seen the movie it makes more sense. I’ve struggled to find the person who shared my philosophy and since  Vince Vaughn is happily married I guess it’s just my family and friends that I get to be an ass for and that’s good enough. In my friendships and family we get ugly and do the hard stuff when we need to. We cry with each other and support each other’s wins just like the losses. We tell the hard truth and stay. We hold space while the other person figures it out. Why is that so hard to do in a romantic relationship? Why can’t people commit to that relationship like they do to the new iPhone? Ultimately.. I want a man who sees that movie and gets it and I’m willing to wait. The best proposal for this movie nerd would be “would you like to go to Applebee’s with me forever” ? Who are YOU going to go to Applebee’s with!