Ra Ra ree kick em in the knee

Back in 1986 a tall, gangly girl stood waiting outside the gym doors at Sage Middle School in black Dolphin shorts and matching Tshirt holding borrowed pom poms waiting for her number to be called. This was THE day, cheer leading tryouts. For weeks she'd practiced with her Uncle Joe's girlfriend who was a skilled cheerleader. The routine was learned, the hair was done, every thing was ready except for her nerves. The door opens and she walks in facing the firing squad of judges which included 2 teachers and 3 8th grade cheerleaders. These girls were the pinnacle middle school life. She was intimidated to say the least. It was time...do the routine. Take a deep breath, hope they didn't notice how sweaty you are  "ready .. OK". Everything went well until the end. She was supposed to perform a combination of a cartwheel (Which she didn't know how to do) and a jump. The result was She fell in a pile of knees and elbows, taking out two of the three cheerleader judges at the same time. The one remaining cheerleader judge proceeded to humiliate her for making such a spectacle. "Why did you EVEN bother trying out"? As she ran out of the gym crying, she swore to herself that from that day forward all cheerleaders would be the enemy. She became the anti-cheerleader. Looking back now, it reads like a bad episode of the Afterschool Special. But it's real. She was me. I still remember the names of the three cheerleader judges. I still remember the way the hard, shiny gym floor felt like as I slammed into it. I'm having flashbacks because today my daughter tried out as a 7th grader for her 8th grade squad. She, however is amazing and talented. She's got rhythm and skill. I have no idea where that came from. It certainly wasn't me. Cattiness is still the order of the day. Cliques still rule but my daughter can rise above all that because she can actually CHEER! I've even been able to set aside some of my own emotion towards the situation and make "spirit shirts" and hair-bows which caused my kitchen floor to be covered in glitter. It's weird how God works...the anti-cheerleader becomes mother to the cheerleaderiest cheerleader ever. And I love it. Oh the irony.

D-day

There is an entire industry built around getting married. Multi-million dollar industry in fact, full of pageantry and tradition. The same does not exist for divorce unless of course you consider snaky attorneys to be on par with wedding planners. There are certain similarities with regard to time lines but no real tradition. Weddings require a fancy dress, hundreds of guests, flowers, a photographer and a buffet. I'm pretty sure if you showed up at the courthouse for your divorce with all these things you'd be asked to leave. I showed up for the wedding with 3 of my very best friends in tow, dressed in matching lavender dresses. Today, I go alone.
What if there were ceremony attached to undoing a marriage? Would it be considered disrespectful or crass? Would it make the transition easier? Surely someone would find a way to make money on it. Singing  "going to the courthouse and I'm gonna get divorced" doesn't have quite the same ring to it. But really...If getting married were half as difficult as getting divorced, more people might take the decision more seriously. As it stands, today I go before a judge to settle the details of my own divorce and to get back the right to use my maiden name again legally. In six months and one day I will be legally unmarried. All the work the wedding machine did 17 years ago, everything that took a year to plan, many of my parents dollars and 325 guests to put together will be undone. Maybe I'll start a tasteful "divorce planning" business. I could find some way to inject some humor into the bummer business. At any rate, maybe I can give the snaky attorneys a run for their money.